Express....

I type my problems

And write stories

Wishing it would happen to me.

Most things don't have happy endings

When i write.

If I can't say it to someone

I write it , so the world can see

Heart-aches happen to everyone

We just don't notice it.

People want love,

People want happiness,

I'm not a Shakespeare or Wordsworth

Who might have Expressed these feelings with their lifelike portrayals,

But I express true emotions , My emotions ,

As real as they are...

Is it all predestined,

Does everything happen for a reason,

Is there someone above who just doesn't want me to have my share of success,

Or is it Me ,

Who gives up every time without even trying the second time.

I may want to die,

But instead I cry

I don't want to hurt inside,

So I bleed on the outside

I Express Me....

Express,a word that hurts everyone....

Wings "ON" Fire....

Hi friends...I'm back with yet another post.....

Although this time ,

I wouldn't be (or at least I think that I wouldn't be..)writing about "HER" (My motivation behind writing this blog ..since I didn't get to see HER for a long time now)

Although I'm not an ardent reader ....once I decided to give it a shot i.e try to get into the habit of reading....

After a lot of pondering over which book should I read first....(Don't worry...it wasn't a comic book!!)

I decided to read "Wings of Fire" -A.P.J Abdul Kalam's Autobiography.....(I've always admired him for his simplicity and devotion towards his work)

My English Teachers had always been telling me to get into the habit of reading........

"It is not only helpful for the curicullum but will also help you in your future interviews and exams...blah blah!!!!"

But I never heeded to their advice....

It took me just half an hour to purchase the book AND 6 months to start reading it :) (..not an exaggeration..)

Dont't worry I'm not going to narrate you his story of "Rags to Riches" or that of "Devotion and sincerity towards one's work"......

When I finally started reading the book, I didn't really find it interesting

"What have I to do with his story?

How will his contribution to Indian Space Research help me?

I don't want to be a scientist anyway..

I'm really a fool ,

I should have purchased some light romantic or some detective short stories book

"

But I decided to at least give it a quick reading ....

By the time I reached the third chapter,

I was somewhat occupied by the story of this small town man who has shaped the Indian Space Programme to its present status....

So , I left the reading for the day ....(I mean 30 pages for a reader like me is more than enough)

Next day.......or rather next week I again resumed reading from where I had left....

As I kept reading the book , I got even more enthralled by the depth of his thinking and his principles......

Suddenly around noon, I got a call.....

Guess Who had called me.......?

YES,it was HER call....

SHE wanted to see me....I didn't know why....

But who cares why she wants to meet me....I'm more than happy to just catch a glimpse of HER

I hurried myself to the restaurant SHE had called me....

I found HER seated on the corner seat gazing at me..

With a mysterious smile , SHE welcomed me.....

I grew a bit nervous....but none the less I carried myself upto her......

"Hi, so how are you doing?",I asked courteously

"Hiiii(girls have this tendency to stretch "hi" to "hiiiiiiii")....I'm fine "

As I sat down , I enquired about the reason as to why she had called me..

"Why , can't a friend call another friend without any reason?",SHE responded to my surprise....

"Well,I never knew that we were friends" , I thought..smiling or rather blushing at HER response....

I wasn't prepared for this sudden encounter....

Apart from studies I had no other topic about which I could talk to HER,

So I thought to boast a little about my newly acquired "reading habit"

After placing the order ,

I told HER about the book I was reading

I kept on telling HER or rather (boring HER) with whatever I had read.......

I told HER about APJ Abdul Kalam's family...his education...his dreams and aspirations of becoming an IAF pilot..

about how he gave India its first SLV and missiles , about his dedication ......................

"What the hell am I doing?"..I thought..

"I've got this golden opportunity to confess my feelings for HER....when SHE herself has invited me......

and I am wasting it by telling HER about a book that I haven't even read completely........"

I could clearly see in HER eyes....something that SHE wanted to say....

"Might be she too has some feelings for me.......

OR might be SHE just wants to tell me that things can't work for us ...so I better leave HER alone and stop tormenting HER with my "Wings Of Fire" narration....."

We finished the lunch , with me doing all the talking (which was completely absurd and irrelevent)....

"Shall we go now....?" , SHE asked....as if SHE wanted to hear something from me

"Should I tell HER ?

YES....this is the right time.....

NO..it would be really awkward and stupid of me to talk of such an issue after spoiling HER noon by telling HER

about my "READING HABITS!!"....

SHE would definitely refuse ..if I talked to HER now...."

So we left the place....

with me thinking "Had I not listened to my Teachers and not tried to get into reading ,

I would have definitely confessed my feelings to HER "

And like every other time , this time too "I had wasted an opportunity to get along with HER......"

Figments of Imagination.......

Today....while enjoying the rain of the season....

I saw HER chirping and playing in the rain

I too wanted to get along with her and feel the rain drops

trying to dampen the warmth of her grip......

I too wanted to live the very moment with HER

and feel that closeness with HER......

As I got out in the rain , trying to reach HER

a strong breeze blew away HER scarf and threw it on my face.....

"WOW , thats like some fantacy come true....a fairy tale

a picture perfect moment " , I thought ......

There SHE stood all wet and blushing

hoping that I would reach for HER and

cover HER head with the scarf.......

"Should I go there and cover HER with the scarf

feeling every bit of HER sensuous self

and assuring HER of my soul existence for HER......"

"Or will that be too early for such a step ?

Will that seem weird and

show eagerness on my part (Well ! I am eager , but I don't want HER to know that) ? "

"So what if SHE knows I am eager

at least she would find out that way I feel about HER ", I counter-argued with myself

"Excuse me....sorry.... but that's my scarf...

can I just have it back ?", SHE spoke in HER enchanting voice.

"Ya , sure..

here..take it..I was about to return it..."

As I reluctantly returned the scarf to HER ,

I realized that I had missed yet another chance to get along with HER ....

I watched HER gradually walk away from me ,

as the rain continued to flood my mind with its figments of imagination......

I got my answer......My First Blog

The day I first saw her....I was ecstatic to see my imagination in "REAL"
Watching her captivating smile , all my senses were benumbed ....
I could feel the love in the air
"Hows that possible ? Surely God has sent this angel for me from the Heavens "were my first thoughts......

It was the first day of my college..... when I met this really charming young lady ,
"Should I talk to her ...yes..no..yes..no...."
while I , as usual , was sitting in my dilemma , not sure whether to talk to her or not....someone else took the shot ..."No God please don't take her away from me..it's hardly been a moment and that guy is trying to snatch her away from me.."
"Just do something , so that she doesn't get attracted to him....and I promise I wont let the opportunity slip away from my hand , please God !!!!"

Well , God heard me , that guy couldn't really connect with her and left ."I knew it ..she's not that guy's type....she's just for me....BUT
Will she like me ?
Should I go there and talk to her now?
....No , may be tomorrow....yes that seems the right thing to do....I'll go tomorrow."

That was the day(first day of first year) .....and this is the day (final year)
"THE TOMORROW never arrived......."
Well this is my first blog ....I don't know how to write one.......
But I wrote this blog just to give a vent to my pent-up emotions....
BECAUSE this very day , my friends ,I found out that she doesn't like me either....

"And I finally GOT MY ANSWER" .........and this blog is my answer..........